


it's not living if it's not with you

by slaymeanie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, actually i'm not really good with angst, broken relationship, from The 1975 song, subtle smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-06 01:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17336495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slaymeanie/pseuds/slaymeanie
Summary: Wonwoo missed the feeling when the world took a long moment to slow down just for him and Mingyu. But what could he do?





	1. how to live without you

Wonwoo was so used to waking up with someone and then suddenly, he wakes up to an empty bed.

 

No more cuddles while talking about the future.

_“What do you think about having kids?” Mingyu asked drawing circles on the small of Wonwoo’s back. Their breaths fanning each other as they recover from the high they've been. Wonwoo groaned as he tried their limp lower bodies to lose contact, only to have Mingyu tighten his hold on Wonwoo._

_"You do know I can't bear a child, right? Neither of us."_

_"Of course, silly. But still ..." Mingyu's chuckles echoed in their room. "I want a family with you."_

_"And I want everything with you, too." Wonwoo answered kissing the tip of Mingyu's nose that had the man beneath him giggle._

_"Spend the rest of your life with me."_

_"Gladly. Always. In a heartbeat, my love."_

 

No more early morning coffee with kisses on the side.

_"Coffee for the best boyfriend in the world," Mingyu smiled while handing him the cup of brewed coffee with a teaspoon of honey. It's not the best combination of coffee that's out there but Wonwoo loves it that way, healthier, and he's just glad he has Mingyu to make it as perfect as he loves it to be._

_"I hope you're not just saying that so I'd ride you again."_

_Mingyu almost choked on his coffee. "Why would you think that?"_

_"I don't know ..." Wonwoo shrugged making Mingyu sulk like the actual puppy that he is. "Oh c'mon ..." Wonwoo reaching Mingyu's hand from the other side of the kitchen counter. "You do know I'd still do even without the coffee."_

_"You're the best." Mingyu squeezed Wonwoo's hand and planted a chaste kiss on the corner of the older's lips._

_"No, you are." Wonwoo kissing Mingyu fully like his life depended on it—because it does._

 

No more drifting in and out of sleep curled in his arms.

_"What time is it?" Wonwoo groggily asked, stirring in his sleep while trying to find a warmer position which he found being laid on top of Mingyu's chest, with his hands trying to find the younger's under the sheets._

_Mingyu groaned trying his best to see their wall clock while struggling to open an eye. "L-Love ... I think uhm quarter to six?"_

_"It's cold ..." Wonwoo barely whispered._

_"Come here." Mingyu squeezed his waist and properly settled Wonwoo's face in the crook of Mingyu's neck and their chests so close not even letting a single thread of air to pass thru. The younger fixing how their blanket is wrapped around them before wrapping his arms tightly around the older. "Better?"_

_"The warmest." Wonwoo muttered while drifting to sleep again not knowing how Mingyu kissed the top of his head and snuggled him even closer._

 

No more Mingyu.

It’s been what? Three days, maybe? Four? Five?

Wonwoo lost count. All he knew is just he is a fool. He is a fool for being all things.

 

Every morning since then he tried to inhale the day as a new beginning but the things around him were just the same as how they were when Mingyu left. Or when he let Mingyu leave. Everything reminded him of what was once his. Of what he loved. Of who he loved. Of who he still loves.

The familiarity. The memories. And the overwhelming meld of sadness hits him ...

Wonwoo misses Mingyu. Badly.

So bad he felt like dying.

He misses resting side-by-side with Mingyu on their bed, feeling Mingyu’s warm breath on his skin. He missed the feeling when the world took a long moment to slow down just for him and Mingyu. Just for them. Every damn time. Every damn time their eyes find each other's. Every time their skin tingles with their slightest touch. Every time their lips connect the way their heart does. Every damn time.

And most of all, he misses the feeling when somehow everything would turn out okay as long as they held each other.

But that’s all he could ever do now.

Miss everything.

Because of being the coward that he is.


	2. all i do is sit and think about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo is sick and misses Mingyu more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably a short continuation of the previous chapter. idrk what's up with me writing this, probably just because of my love for minwon ... and angst.

With the August summer sun shining at its peak today, Wonwoo felt otherwise. He felt so cold waking up, not that it was anything close to warm waking up every morning since Mingyu left but today was unbearably cold. He struggled to wrap his body tightly around the thick blanket and another layer of comforter but the cold just never left his body. He groaned squeezing his body tighter around the layers of cloth around him but it's not helping. He heaved a sigh only to feel his breath as hot like that boiling water he used to cook ramyun.

_Great, now I'm sick._

_And alone._

He struggled to open his eyes and get up from the bed with still two layers of blankets draped around him. Another groan left his body when he felt the bed pulling his body back, his body clearly not wanting to get out the comfort of lying down in bed. But he needed to remind his self that he is alone and no one will bring him medicine if he doesn't get up.

After minutes of blinking and trying to fight the sting on his eyes of not wanting to wake up, he got up and went to the walk-in closet to change into warmer clothes. A thick pajamas and a sweater he still topped with a hoodie was grazing his body trying to fight the cold. He took a glimpse of his state on the mirror and saw how his eyes are redder than usual, it stings looking at his reflection for more than a good minute so he steps out of the closet and walks outside his room with two blankets still around him.

He doesn't remember having a medicine box but he remembers Mingyu giving him medicines every time he got sick so he thought maybe there is one in the kitchen cabinet or somewhere. He has opened all cabinets until the last one greeted him with a clear box labeled as such so he took that and rummaged through looking for paracetamol. He successfully downed one tablet and goes to turn on his coffee maker wondering if drinking coffee with his state could help with the cold he's feeling.

_If only Mingyu is here._

 

_"If only you are here." Wonwoo mumbled over the phone, body wrapped around a blanket, curled in the couch like a baby._

_"Love, I'm already near. Don't sulk now, okay? What did you eat?"_

_"I don't feel like eating."_

_"And you took medicine with an empty stomach?" Mingyu's voice laced with concern._

_"Bold of you to assume I took medicine."_

_"Wonwoo ..."_

_"Mingyu ..." Wonwoo replied smiling, his dry lips stretching that hard to the first time today so he flinched how it hurts._

_"Hmm already here, love."_

_With that, Wonwoo was quick to get up. Like his body is not going thru a thirty-nine degree fever and some muscle cramps, he welcomed Mingyu by the door._

_"You're like a cocoon." Mingyu commented while removing his shoes in seconds, not even bothering to put it in the shoe rack of the want to get to Wonwoo fast._

_"It's cold ..." Wonwoo's voice cracking like he is about to cry. Mingyu immediately enveloped the older in his arms, trying to squeeze the cold out. Wonwoo hummed in satisfaction._

_"You need to eat," Mingyu said after a good minute of planting kisses on the top of Wonwoo's head. The older shaking his head as an answer, not wanting to part from the younger's warmth. "Wonwoo ... don't be stubborn now."_

_"I am not." Wonwoo lifting his head to face the younger. When Mingyu leaned in acting like he was going to kiss Wonwoo on the lips, the latter was quick to separate from the embrace. "I'm sick ... do not kiss me!"_

_Mingyu smiled, "That's why you need to eat, so you can take your medicine and you'll be fine."_

_"You didn't just do that so I'd—" Mingyu was already heading to the kitchen. "Mingyu ..." Wonwoo whines, making Mingyu stop on his tracks and look back on the older, arms are spread wide like a toddler wanting to get carried._

_"Love, please ..." Mingyu whines, too, cracking a smile from Wonwoo, rushing to get to the younger's arms again, claiming his rightful position from earlier. The warmth from Mingyu calms his nerves, making him forget he was curled in the couch earlier because of the chill or he was even sick at all._

_Mingyu is his favorite medicine._

_Mingyu is his healing._

_"I guess I'm gonna have to cook with a koala all over me," Mingyu mumbles._

 

If only Mingyu is here.

If only Mingyu would be here.

If only he is still with Mingyu.

 _Not again,_ he thought when his eyes sting wanting to squeeze something out. He heaved a sigh standing from the kitchen stool when he hears a short beep from the coffee maker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still a drabble, obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> obviously, a drabble. thanks for passing by!


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